Oh the shark bites with his teeth, dear

A few days after the new year, I sent an email flick on the nose to two guys who claimed they wanted to be my friend, but from whom I received limited contact since. In my effort to have no regrets and to simplify my life, I asked them if they really wanted to hold up their end of the friendship deal or if they just wanted me to go away and to not bother them.

The result was that both have been pretty attentive. And the email conversations have been quite informative and fascinating--discussions of various fighting styles mainly.

So, these two guys I was so over...well, I am again not as over them as I thought (remember, I have major *thing* for martial artists and both of them are...one much moreso than the other, but the "lower" ranking one is a third dan in tae kwon do and teaches longsword classes for part of his living). I'm being nice and good and just a jovial non-pressuring friend, but damn. In addition, I'm finding myself bringing Ali into conversations with both and feel like I am using him as a person on whom to transfer affection felt for the other two since I actually see Ali regularly in person.

Bad me.

Yes, the trainer crush started again last night as I was doing leg presses and we were discussing dating and relationships. I so badly wanted to tell Ali "Hey, if I wasn't paying you, I would ask you out in an instant." But, that would have most definitely added an uckie dimension to our sessions that would be bad.

My restraint is amazing at times...not only for not slapping the hell out of some people, but also for keeping my heart off of my sleeve to keep strangeness from entering improperly into professional relationships.

I hate being so responsible at times.