Something on your mind...you want to leave me behind?

I believe I have given up on the Otter now. Sad, but I have. It took four years for a man to turn my head like that. Probably will take another four or possibly more. So, yeah, time to scrimp and save money to be able to afford a family on my own.

I have to be realistic. That realism is not always optimistic.

Not much to write tonight. The boys came over and we gamed. I am no longer my group's rapier marshal. Three years in that position really was much too long. Now though, I am the new herald. And, with autocratting the spring event, that's quite a bit. However, fighting today felt so wonderfully free from worry and concern. I had fun. Really. There was just such bliss to be able to be selfish and say "Hey! I want to fight for me--to have fun! Don't look at me to run a practice here. I'm sparring." I missed that.

Yeah, I was horribly selfish, but I think that my fighting will improve because it is no longer a duty but a choice to fight. This is truly a good thing. I'll still help folks, but it will be my choice. That makes all the difference.